Shhush up, dude! Not in here!
Zip your lip, then zip it up, and meet me over by the sink.
I refuse to talk to you at the urinal, dude.
When guys step up to the urinal, it’s for one thing and one
thing only. Eyes on the wall, concentrate on the task at hand, wash up, and get
back out there. This goes for when you’re at a bar, at work, the baseball game – anywhere
you share a restroom with other people.
Don’t start talking to me about last night’s game. Don’t
strike up a conversation about that girl you’ve been talking to all night. Don’t
tell me about some great new investment that you really think I should get in
on before it blows up. And especially don’t make any idle chit-chat! I hate
that dude.
If you’re bored in the restroom, it’s because you’re supposed
to be. Oh, and what’s up with that pose? You have your hands on your hips, as
if you’re superman. Hilarious, dude! In a bad way.
Anyway, how are you not grossed out, talking to me while you’re,
you know, and I’m, well, you know?
I’m even uncomfortable chatting with you over here by the
sinks. Can’t whatever is so important wait, until we’re outside?
Oh, and by the way, same goes for when you’re in the stall.
Don’t be talking to me through the stall door. And stop making cell phone calls
in there too. That’s disgusting, dude. You spend way too much in the bathroom. Are you dealing drugs again?
Just kidding. But I'm not kidding about your bathroom etiquette.
Stop thinking the restroom is for socializing. Don't be that dude!
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