I want a pouch. No, I need a pouch. A personal pouch,
built-in, just like kangaroos, bandicoots, wombats, banded anteaters,
koalas, opossums, wallabies, and Tasmanian devils have.
Why?
When you spend 12 hours a day away from home, one-third of which is consumed by commuting, you need to carry around lots of stuff (crap). In my backpack right now, I have several notebooks for writing, an Amazon Kindle, an umbrella, bills to pay, maps of NYC, a wallet, keys, a camera, a cell phone, and well, you get the picture. Walking around, I must look like an overgrown, balding kid on his way to school, with my lunch bag also in tow.
I’m tired of lugging this junk around, but it’s pretty much all necessary. The problem is, when I go other places I need to transfer some of that same junk into different carriers. And then I have to remember to put the stuff back again. Man, life is damned hard!
Anyway, I’ve tried backpacks, knapsacks, fanny packs, waist packs, briefcases, duffle bags, shoulder bags — you name it. None of them do the trick! But look that those marsupials I mentioned earlier. They literally have their !@#$ together, don’t they? That’s what I want. So, I’m making a plea.
If there are any doctors out there, plastic surgeons or gastric specialists, I want to know what we can do here. Can we convert my stomach into a pouch? There’s plenty of extra, I’m sure of it. Can I enjoy the feeling of knowing that I didn’t leave my wallet home, or that I didn’t lose my keys? And still have room for my camera?
Is there any doctor out there with such vision, and with the skills and confidence to pull this off?
Better yet, how about you genetics experts. Maybe some of you are already working on isolating the marsupial gene that creates pouches, or modifying our own genes to present this wonderful natural accessory? Imagine not having to leave this up to surgery, but if it we could one day select it for our children, just like we select walnuts and hot fudge for a sundae!
All I know is, I want a pouch and I want it now!
Feel free to submit conceptual images of what the human personal pouch might look like.
Can you help?
Why?
When you spend 12 hours a day away from home, one-third of which is consumed by commuting, you need to carry around lots of stuff (crap). In my backpack right now, I have several notebooks for writing, an Amazon Kindle, an umbrella, bills to pay, maps of NYC, a wallet, keys, a camera, a cell phone, and well, you get the picture. Walking around, I must look like an overgrown, balding kid on his way to school, with my lunch bag also in tow.
I’m tired of lugging this junk around, but it’s pretty much all necessary. The problem is, when I go other places I need to transfer some of that same junk into different carriers. And then I have to remember to put the stuff back again. Man, life is damned hard!
Anyway, I’ve tried backpacks, knapsacks, fanny packs, waist packs, briefcases, duffle bags, shoulder bags — you name it. None of them do the trick! But look that those marsupials I mentioned earlier. They literally have their !@#$ together, don’t they? That’s what I want. So, I’m making a plea.
If there are any doctors out there, plastic surgeons or gastric specialists, I want to know what we can do here. Can we convert my stomach into a pouch? There’s plenty of extra, I’m sure of it. Can I enjoy the feeling of knowing that I didn’t leave my wallet home, or that I didn’t lose my keys? And still have room for my camera?
Is there any doctor out there with such vision, and with the skills and confidence to pull this off?
Better yet, how about you genetics experts. Maybe some of you are already working on isolating the marsupial gene that creates pouches, or modifying our own genes to present this wonderful natural accessory? Imagine not having to leave this up to surgery, but if it we could one day select it for our children, just like we select walnuts and hot fudge for a sundae!
All I know is, I want a pouch and I want it now!
Feel free to submit conceptual images of what the human personal pouch might look like.
Can you help?
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