Don’t Be That Dude: Ogling Girls

Hey man. C’mon over here. I just want to have a little chat with you.

Huh?

Nothing bad, just a bit of friendly advice.

Yeah, don’t be that dude.

Whaddya mean, what do I mean?

OK. That girl over there, she can’t be more than 24, she’s barely out of college. You turned 52 last week, remember? We went out drinking and had a blast, and you were crying to me about how much you love your wife, and two daughters? Your daughters. One of them will be going to college next year, right?

But you’ve been staring at that girl the whole train ride. Now everyone on the train is creeped out by you. Even me, and I’m your bud.

Listen, I’m realistic. I’m not telling you not to look. I know how futile that would be. But when you start drooling on your iPad, it’s time close your mouth, blink your eyes, and snap your brain back into the world of reality. I mean, do you think that girl would go for you? And, let’s say that the remote, .000001 percent chance comes true, you have the guts to do anything?

What I’m trying to say is, remember when we were her age, how we used to go to the bar, and see dudes like that all over. Remember how much we used to laugh at that dude? Well, now there’s other dudes laughing at you, dude!

You’re becoming that dude.

Dude, don’t be that dude. OK?