Dude, didn’t you hear us stop laughing after about 5 minutes
into your Air Guitar performance last night?
No? Maybe your Air Guitar amplifier was cranked up too loud.
Whatever, my friend, it’s no biggie. But the Air Guitar
concerts are played out, especially since you never really made it as a
musician. It just makes it sadder.
And what were you doing? It’s one thing to Air Guitar on a
righteous Santana solo, or when that Stevie Ray Vaughan song came on. But you
were playing Air Guitar chords. Air Guitar chords? How is that even meaningful
to people who don’t play an instrument? How do you even think that is funny?
And then you started strumming Air Guitar along with Jim
Croce’s “Don’t Mess Around With Jim”? That’s when you really lost us, bro.
And you must’ve sensed something too. That was right around
the time when you mooned everyone, in a last-ditch effort to get a laugh. Then
you gave us all the finger and started in on the hard stuff.
Oh, and that chick you were checking out, sitting on the red
cooler, she was checking you out too – until you busted your head on the garden
hose reel when you tried that behind-the-neck Air Guitar move during Foxy Lady.
She just looked at her friend, rolled her eyes, and left. Uggh! Hendrix would
not have been proud, and neither were we.
Dude, chill with the Air Guitar. Don’t be that dude.
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